I’m a lifelong resident of the Seattle area, someone for whom the infatuation experienced by many when visiting this region has never faded.  Nevertheless, having traveled around the country in to other parts of the world I can honestly say that the Puget Sound suffers from an abnormally large population of very bad drivers.  I speculate that stricter quality control through our driver licensing system might account for drastic reductions in commute time, such are the problems created on our roads by inattentive, inconsiderate and ill-trained drivers.

Thankfully, Susan Atherly’s Outpost (a local blog) has taken the time to study the behavior on our highways with the attention to detail of an anthropologist.  This Margaret Mead of the Northwest’s roadways wrote a brief “Driver’s Etiquette for Seattle,” a hilarious but spot-on guide to navigating the challenging asphalt around this area.

Here’s a sampling of her rules:

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  • Anyone driving slower than you are is obviously an idiot.
  • Anyone driving faster than you are is clearly insane.
  • When merging onto the freeway in Seattle, slow to a complete stop at the end of the ramp, then accelerate onto the road in front of a bus or truck – they have the most open space in front of them.
  • Merging lanes of traffic follow the ancient native rhythms of “you go, I go, I go, I go, you go, you go, we wait, I go, you honk, I signal, you go”, repeat.
  • More than one honk from that thingy at any time will alert everyone that you are “not from around here”. They will naturally assume you are from California and attempt to make your life as unpleasant as possible in hopes of forcing you to return to California.

If you live around here, you’re going to want to pass this around to everyone you know.  Enjoy.

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